Dear Fear,… I guess I can say, I love you.

If you haven’t noticed, there are endless ’10 step tips’  and ‘quotes’ of how to embrace your fears.

The obvious one, which under most circumstances barely makes me move an inch, is “embrace your fears!” This ‘powerful’ quote is just one example of an over-used mantra uttered by many inspirational gurus.

However, one blogger whom I recently came across, Bryan Hutchinson, a writer of simplicity (who at one point in his life could barely even write a proper rhetorical sentence)- evoked the fear right out of me.

“Too often we look at prolific artists and wish we could be more like them because they seem to have nothing to fear.
But that’s not true.
The most successful people, in this case those who consistently finish and ship, are the ones with the most to fear.
They put themselves out there so many times that failure is not just a possibility, it is imminent.”
– Bryan Hutchinson, http://www.positivewriter.com

I guess I am not the only one who desires to act upon those never-ending fears. I am certainly not the only one who feels like they are constantly comparing themself to other people’s success status.

Nonetheless, I am not the only one whose sick of the all-to-common motivational quotes. Which in my case, after reading the same familiar words, only satisfies the ego for a maximum of 30 seconds until I realize I am still sitting in the same space- still admiring a stranger’s Instagram- and nothing has changed.

His words have generated frustration… and even better, excitement at the same time.

Here it is… 

I am scared and I get jealous.

I sometimes, and often, feel envy for those who are pursuing their best work. Especially those who are excelling at it, and most definitely, when it is displayed on social media.

I wonder and wonder… and wonder… how can I get there? (Which job should I apply for? Oh god, I have to update my resume, now! Where do I even begin? I am not even remotely as talented as him/her!)

As one can tell, the anxiety– can shoot me like bullets.

However, that type of thinking- I’ve been there before- so many times. Too many in fact. I know what to expect. I even know where my thoughts are going to go moments later, and most importantly, how to overcome them.

Remember. It is the filtered and cropped version of how someone wishes to present themselves to others.

In addition, that person- they had to start somewhere, especially to get to where they are now. Their social media is a representation of what a day in the life of their shoes would be like. No need for jealousy.

The reason I profess some form of envy is because– at that moment– I am playing it safe.

I am not stepping out of my comfort zone. At least, not enough to execute the changes which I desire.

I am scared. Plain and simple. Time and time again, I know.

Guess what… That’s more than okay. It is actually great. Some form of jealousy or another is a reminder to pursue the adrenaline– that uncomfortable feeling of welcoming vulnerability.

Here we go, new mantra! Keep the vulnerability coming.

Dear Fear,… I guess I can say, I love you.

 

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